Words can be misleading...

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon”.

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

“Good morning madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come to…”

“Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,” Mrs. Smith cut in.

“Really?” the photographer asked. “Well, good! I’ve made a specialty of babies.”

“That’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?” asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too.”

“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry and me.”

“Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”

“I hope we can get this over with quickly,” gasped Mrs. Smith.

“Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love to be in and out in 5 minutes, but you’d be disappointed with that, I’m sure.”

“Don’t I know it!!”, Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus in downtown Manhattan.”

“Oh my god!!”, Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

“And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.”

The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

“She was difficult ?” asked Mrs. Smith.

“Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to Central Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.”
“Four and five deep?” asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

“Yes”, the photographer said. “And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots.

Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.”

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. “You mean they actually chewed on your, eh, equipment?”.

“That’s right. Well madam, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.”

“Tripod??”, Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

“Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big for me to hold while I’m getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?… “oh...my God..! she’s fainted!!”

Open offer letter...

How does a dedicated HR chap start off his love life? We know a letter is one of the first things that anyone can think of and so do I too. Now here I feel how he must have written his first letter exposing his luurveeee for his Love...

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To,
Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M
Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 15th of March (Saturday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 14th of March, at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.

However, I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.

I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,
Romeo
HR Manager

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(funny article)